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The_Instigator

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The_Instigator
  • Town/Country : Ninja Town, South of Mexico
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2203
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About The_Instigator : I'm that guy who always tangles your headphones when you're not paying attention.

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The_Instigator's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13617) - you deserved it (32336)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (20510)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

#18128181
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (25609)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (6137)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (2213)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (4542)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (2327)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

#18120511
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9223) - you deserved it (28551)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (2979)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

#18118715
118 comments

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (2264)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (30224)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)



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