The_Instigator

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The_Instigator

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5435
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About The_Instigator : I'm that guy who always tangles your headphones when you're not paying attention.

The_Instigator's page activity

Visits<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:12pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:21am<b>Unknown939</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:39am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:32pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:01am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:11am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:07am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:26pm<b>Bostern</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:50am<b>BlueFlatts</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:41am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Paradoxify</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:39pm<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:31pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 6:11am<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Franniee_</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 7:27pm<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Schaus</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:01pm

The_Instigator's FML badges

50 favourites

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The_Instigator's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

by benji / 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

by pain / 11/01/2011 at 10:52am / United States / Health

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

by DirtyCharmed / 11/01/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

by spacemanspiff78 / 10/31/2011 at 11:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 12:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

by Benjamin / 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation