Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

The_Curvy_Girl

Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 4:34am) | Search for a member

The_Curvy_Girl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About The_Curvy_Girl : I'm a Legend of Zelda, Lord of the Rings, and cat fan

The_Curvy_Girl's page activity

Visits<b>Skyborn</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:48am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:29pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 12:14am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:51pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:42am<b>andy594328</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:37am<b>joe_potato</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:12pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:32am<b>cannedpeas</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 10:47am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:23pm<b>thefella</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:31pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:51am<b>nunchux88</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 10:52pm<b>esemexicano</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:01am<b>hondaguyy</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:55pm<b>sailing_is_life</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:02pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:42am

The_Curvy_Girl's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of The_Curvy_Girl's badges

The_Curvy_Girl's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (2921)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (1707)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (3042)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (5938)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML

#21349857
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (5170)

On 02/04/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by nooo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14393) - you deserved it (37436)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (2308)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (3238)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (6527)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (8233)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: