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TheWhiteDemon

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TheWhiteDemon
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 November 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 816
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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TheWhiteDemon's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

#13733621
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (12318)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

#13599206
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (7660)

On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (5242)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (5057)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9791) - you deserved it (24567)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (5283)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (20101)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7472) - you deserved it (59864)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

#12618880
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (7380)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:15am - misc - by mylifeblows (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (1826)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

#12531799
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5732) - you deserved it (27123)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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