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TheWetzel

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TheWetzel
  • Town/Country : HURRRRRRRRR, HURRRRRRRRR
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 287
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheWetzel's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (5779)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45845) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16134) - you deserved it (36396)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8073) - you deserved it (21642)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (8883)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)



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