TheShadyMilkman

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TheShadyMilkman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 March 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About TheShadyMilkman : What was that sign we just passed?

TheShadyMilkman's page activity

Visits<b>ejkst19</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:19am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:37am<b>Silence_ikeelu</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 8:26am<b>MiddleEastern</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:42pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:42am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Ypetrol</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 12:15pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:36pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:53pm<b>bluebob13</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:42am<b>max367</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:30am<b>starile</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:21am<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:10am<b>KrazieKleo</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:53pm<b>RockingRocker</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:21pm<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:10pm<b>UnoriGal</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:20am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:19am

Fucked!<b>Silence_ikeelu</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 2:27pm

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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TheShadyMilkman's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

by Chia / 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by baron / 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

by Fitz / 05/05/2009 at 8:22am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

by bride / 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML

by Voice29 / 03/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work