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TheQuiet's favorite FMLs
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
by Dansonn / 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by dizzlewizzle / 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come… Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He… Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm…