About ThePieGuy0817 : I'm an artist; my profile picture is a photo of a painting I did myself. I am also an as-of-yet unpublished author working on a book called Ascendancy.
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ThePieGuy0817's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML
by owies :( / 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Heretique / 02/09/2011 at 4:30am / Norway (Finnmark) / Miscellaneous
by sam / 12/15/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Work
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…