Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThePaperDragon

Search for a member

ThePaperDragon
  • Town/Country : Channahon, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3359
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ThePaperDragon : Hmm, my name is Aspasia, I love playing CoD. I TRY to follow my religion, but I am not, by any means, perfect. I'm semi athletic and enjoy poetry. I'm trilingual and in the process of learning a fourth language. My favorite music is rap, esp. those of the late Mr. Shakur. If you want to know anything else, just message me. ;) Oh, and I also LOVE origami, hence my name ThePaperDragon, a model completely of my own creation.

ThePaperDragon's last visitors

arudennic5xkilluhandmonkeyy100MornaigraceinsheepwearmariepastygluedropbeatsnotbombAlWAYSN4EVRgladlilyTrace01m

ThePaperDragon's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of ThePaperDragon's badges

ThePaperDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17097) - you deserved it (18488)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

#19212153
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (3368)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (2491)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (6133)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12032) - you deserved it (29464)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6510) - you deserved it (12292)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: