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About TheOrangeVortex : Heavy Metal, Drinking, Parties, Video Games, Drums, Guitar, Violent Weather, Epic Adventures, Mouth raping the shit out of pizza, SATAN
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (8994)
On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (5934)
On 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (1684)
On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57367) - you deserved it (5790)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (4140)
On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16229) - you deserved it (21373)
On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (13464)
On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother in law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (3189)
On 03/08/2010 at 10:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (6360)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753703) - you deserved it (63724)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (381272) - you deserved it (34535)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
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