TheOrangeVortex

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TheOrangeVortex

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 January 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 729
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheOrangeVortex : Heavy Metal, Drinking, Parties, Video Games, Drums, Guitar, Violent Weather, Epic Adventures, Mouth raping the shit out of pizza, SATAN

TheOrangeVortex's page activity

Visits<b>z3vil</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 8:34am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:04pm<b>ohthebloodygore</b> - the 03/06/2011 at 10:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 5:33am

TheOrangeVortex's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TheOrangeVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

by anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

by kimbo / 10/25/2010 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

by dom / 09/08/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love