Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheOrangeVortex

Search for a member

TheOrangeVortex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 January 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheOrangeVortex : Heavy Metal, Drinking, Parties, Video Games, Drums, Guitar, Violent Weather, Epic Adventures, Mouth raping the shit out of pizza, SATAN

TheOrangeVortex's page activity

Visits<b>z3vil</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 8:34am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:04pm<b>ohthebloodygore</b> - the 03/06/2011 at 10:04pm

TheOrangeVortex's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TheOrangeVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (13162)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

#13591774
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (7979)

On 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69944) - you deserved it (7878)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52591) - you deserved it (5587)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (29997)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (18437)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

#8916783
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (4394)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (8472)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1157160) - you deserved it (115931)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: