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TheNewGuy03

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

68Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11328
  • Number of comments : 2326
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Altairae</b> - yesterday at 12:45pm<b>besosforme</b> - yesterday at 4:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - yesterday at 12:52am<b>Big_D_Real</b> - yesterday at 5:51pm<b>Qat</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>KayBTay</b> - yesterday at 5:13pm<b>cprad11</b> - yesterday at 4:21pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:28pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:44pm<b>conman531</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:56am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:50am<b>Csoi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:00am<b>justinam</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:39am<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:35am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 4:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:26am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hardik4991</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:56am<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:21am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:41pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:57am<b>mariri9206</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:20pm<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:27am<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:42pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:34am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:24am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (6194)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

#14808267
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (5937)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (69387)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10444) - you deserved it (58332)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (6000)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (3270)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (9144)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (8155)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15888) - you deserved it (25635)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (8608)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (3353)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (4880)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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