TheNewGuy03

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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 2:08am)

TheNewGuy03

103Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13406
  • Number of comments : 2752
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @ClaytonJonesImages
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>zoza7oss</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 9:55am<b>assem977</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:06pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 3:43am<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 8:56am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 5:08am<b>Reely_queenie</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 12:25pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 11:17pm<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 8:49am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:59am<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:46pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:42am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:15am<b>iheartbananas</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:28pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:01pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>jforren</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 6:56am<b>Participation</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 3:43am<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:42am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 6:06pm<b>C8H18</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:32am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:07pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:38pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:25pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:55am<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 6:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 12:33am<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:55pm<b>squilliam214</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:24pm<b>xSlyx</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:56am<b>Kira1965</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:51am<b>thejonac</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:47am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

by sushi hater / 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

by Juliet / 03/10/2011 at 7:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

by breakinphones / 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

by Raprotcommander / 02/07/2011 at 10:47am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

by anonymous / 02/03/2011 at 12:17am / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

by fml / 02/02/2011 at 4:48am / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy