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TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03

13Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10240
  • Number of comments : 2098
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand
http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>Hop6e</b> - 24 hours ago<b>nicolemf4</b> - yesterday at 12:52am<b>LozzieDumpling</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:51pm<b>daGun</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 6:09pm<b>RiceKrispieTreat</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:38pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hippokrates</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:14pm<b>townailz</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:38am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:10pm<b>AlexisG106271</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:09pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:00pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:59am<b>melons</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:08am<b>catherinecas</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:01am<b>rudegirl209</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:10am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:09am<b>MGC501</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - 18 hours ago<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:46am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:32am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:28pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:03pm<b>mikeyb3</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:07am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:15am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:16am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:01am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:01pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:53am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (24564)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32051) - you deserved it (8458)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31464) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (4500)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2366)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3542)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64000) - you deserved it (6058)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (4786)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (9840)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (35698)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (3872)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43391) - you deserved it (3644)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (45412)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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