Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 07/23/2014 at 5:11pm) | Search for a member
About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
Monday 1 September 2014