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TheNewGuy03

Offline (yesterday at 9:02pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

68Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11340
  • Number of comments : 2326
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - yesterday at 3:45pm<b>Altairae</b> - yesterday at 12:45pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:52am<b>Big_D_Real</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Qat</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:37pm<b>KayBTay</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:13pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:21pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:28pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:44pm<b>conman531</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:56am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:50am<b>Csoi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:00am<b>justinam</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:39am<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:35am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:26am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hardik4991</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:56am<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:21am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:41pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:57am<b>mariri9206</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:20pm<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:27am<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:42pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:34am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:24am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53441) - you deserved it (8503)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (6239)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (33341)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (94087)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (7268)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (3874)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45033) - you deserved it (5755)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (79200)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49380) - you deserved it (13916)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you deserved it (51511)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (62893)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11618) - you deserved it (52383)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75527) - you deserved it (7161)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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