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Offline (13 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11933
  • Number of comments : 2518
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site:
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - 20 hours ago<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:56pm<b>Kira1965</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:07am<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 4:23am<b>helloitsmeee</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:58pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:27pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Anubis95</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:54pm<b>BillyTheGoat</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 11:42pm<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 11:20am<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:14am<b>Begiz</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:02pm<b>MamaChey</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:46pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:09pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:34am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 12:07am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>Kira1965</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:51am<b>thejonac</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:47am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am<b>chaoss10</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:44pm<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:25pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:05am<b>Tonher</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:27am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:06pm<b>Kingaru</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:07pm<b>splitms</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:06am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:13am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:00am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:23am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:21pm<b>gamermonster</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:33pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:23pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:06pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

by jonh_215 / 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Health

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

by paige / 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

by jballer / 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

by sushi hater / 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

by Juliet / 03/10/2011 at 7:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML