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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10621
  • Number of comments : 2154
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 :
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

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TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (5700)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (78224)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48499) - you deserved it (13750)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (50708)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (62132)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (51555)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74362) - you deserved it (7035)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (6130)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (5854)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (68569)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (57504)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (3512)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (5955)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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