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TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03

12Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10224
  • Number of comments : 2092
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand
http://society6.com/claytonjones

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>NotNeeded</b> - 4 hours ago<b>AlexisG106271</b> - 7 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 8 hours ago<b>toasty_narwals</b> - 9 hours ago<b>vikky538</b> - 15 hours ago<b>melons</b> - 18 hours ago<b>catherinecas</b> - 19 hours ago<b>rudegirl209</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:09am<b>MGC501</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:12pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:04pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:39am<b>ukeandfoodislife</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:21am<b>toti24</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:30am<b>luckyme94dn</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:18am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:15am<b>_m_a_t_e_o_</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:14am<b>C7</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:53am

Fucked!<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:46am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:32am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:28pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:03pm<b>mikeyb3</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:07am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:15am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:16am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:01am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:01pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:53am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (13729)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (50495)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you deserved it (61928)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (49413)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74147) - you deserved it (6997)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (6043)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

#14808267
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34694) - you deserved it (5523)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (65251)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10085) - you deserved it (57258)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (3506)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (5931)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35304) - you deserved it (3069)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42922) - you deserved it (8955)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (7867)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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