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TheNewGuy03

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 12:49pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9137
  • Number of comments : 2019
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:03am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:55pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:44pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:55am<b>ijustgiveup</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Nasir_Jones</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:58am<b>kayana153</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:30am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:46pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:00am<b>mattweinburgh</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:51pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:17am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:36pm<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:24am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 6:40pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24165) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49380) - you deserved it (5849)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (32212)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

#15582490
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50010) - you deserved it (5366)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by paige - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48653) - you deserved it (8012)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (5831)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (31469)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (88639)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (6839)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40993) - you deserved it (5384)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (74343)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (13036)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13259) - you deserved it (47331)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)



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