TheNewGuy03

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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 2:08am)

TheNewGuy03

103Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13413
  • Number of comments : 2752
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @ClaytonJonesImages
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>zoza7oss</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 9:55am<b>assem977</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:06pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 3:43am<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 8:56am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 5:08am<b>Reely_queenie</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 12:25pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 11:17pm<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 8:49am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:59am<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:46pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:42am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:15am<b>iheartbananas</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:28pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:01pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>jforren</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 6:56am<b>Participation</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 3:43am<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:42am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 6:06pm<b>C8H18</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:32am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:07pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:38pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:25pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:55am<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 6:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 12:33am<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:55pm<b>squilliam214</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:24pm<b>xSlyx</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:56am<b>Kira1965</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:51am<b>thejonac</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:47am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

by psychteacher / 11/04/2011 at 9:32am / United States (North Dakota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

by Smokey9 / 07/25/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Florida) / Health