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TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03

12Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10230
  • Number of comments : 2096
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand
http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>nicolemf4</b> - 5 hours ago<b>LozzieDumpling</b> - 9 hours ago<b>daGun</b> - 12 hours ago<b>RiceKrispieTreat</b> - 14 hours ago<b>manthymonkey</b> - 15 hours ago<b>hippokrates</b> - 16 hours ago<b>townailz</b> - yesterday at 12:38am<b>NotNeeded</b> - yesterday at 7:10pm<b>AlexisG106271</b> - yesterday at 3:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 3:09pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - yesterday at 2:00pm<b>vikky538</b> - yesterday at 7:59am<b>melons</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:08am<b>catherinecas</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:01am<b>rudegirl209</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:10am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:09am<b>MGC501</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:12pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:04pm

Fucked!<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:46am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:32am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:28pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:03pm<b>mikeyb3</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:07am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:15am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:16am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:01am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:01pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:53am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (3613)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84759) - you deserved it (6352)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (3766)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49780) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (34353)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

#15582490
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52095) - you deserved it (5506)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by paige - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52108) - you deserved it (8375)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (5918)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (32150)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (91516)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (6865)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33362) - you deserved it (3591)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

#15260385
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (5575)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10117) - you deserved it (76177)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)



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