TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03

85Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11793
  • Number of comments : 2481
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - yesterday at 5:47am<b>170107</b> - yesterday at 7:09pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - yesterday at 6:32pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:30pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:17pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:37am<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:34am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:46am<b>Oatmeal1311</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:54am<b>baronsmommy</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:39am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:26am<b>musoboy</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:49pm<b>Poetaster</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:42pm<b>AmyRoux</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:11pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:00pm<b>RnLaLa</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Chase31</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:21pm<b>carly3526</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:17pm

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am<b>chaoss10</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:44pm<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:25pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:05am<b>Tonher</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:27am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:06pm<b>Kingaru</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:07pm<b>splitms</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:06am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:13am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:00am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:23am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:21pm<b>gamermonster</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:33pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:23pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:06pm<b>jjefferson159</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:25am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

by awesome / 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy