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TheNewGuy03

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 9:23pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9859
  • Number of comments : 2021
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>LieBull2732</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:36pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:38pm<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:14pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:07pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:43pm<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:10am<b>elvenlegs</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:35pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>fangirlofthings</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:05am<b>guinea_pigs</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:47am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:42pm<b>biblepain</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:03am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:03am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:58am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:44pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89395) - you deserved it (13962)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15419) - you deserved it (49399)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (72564)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (3701)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (56766)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (6219)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64733) - you deserved it (6756)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you deserved it (3573)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (63623)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49430) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (3607)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83445) - you deserved it (6248)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (3584)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States



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