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TheNewGuy03

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

68Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11326
  • Number of comments : 2326
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Altairae</b> - 22 hours ago<b>besosforme</b> - yesterday at 4:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - yesterday at 12:52am<b>Big_D_Real</b> - yesterday at 5:51pm<b>Qat</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>KayBTay</b> - yesterday at 5:13pm<b>cprad11</b> - yesterday at 4:21pm<b>liv1222</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>Soninuva</b> - yesterday at 2:28pm<b>mominlaw</b> - yesterday at 2:24pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - yesterday at 1:44pm<b>conman531</b> - yesterday at 11:56am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 10:50am<b>Csoi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:00am<b>justinam</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:39am<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 4:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:26am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hardik4991</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:56am<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:21am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:41pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:57am<b>mariri9206</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:20pm<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:27am<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:42pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:34am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:24am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (3964)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (4452)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (13820)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (3093)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (48538)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (19929)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (81784)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (5619)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38206) - you deserved it (8611)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60155) - you deserved it (5933)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92466) - you deserved it (14559)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (52878)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)



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