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TheNewGuy03

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 9:23pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9435
  • Number of comments : 2021
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>silon5</b> - yesterday at 9:44am<b>cheeeksss</b> - yesterday at 6:14am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:25pm<b>krispy_kreme792</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:37am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:54pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 8:52am<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:03am<b>tony2win</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:19am<b>marmaries</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:56am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:23am<b>bopersonn</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:32am<b>ajlelli18</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Maczilla1</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:38pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:18pm<b>jessal</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:51pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:16pm<b>sophieeee139</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:04pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:18pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56317) - you deserved it (5565)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85484) - you deserved it (13104)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15378) - you deserved it (49269)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9779) - you deserved it (72352)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (3569)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (56627)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (6215)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64560) - you deserved it (6744)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (3500)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63444)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (5789)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3596)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80761) - you deserved it (6037)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -



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