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TheNewGuy03

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 12:49pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9128
  • Number of comments : 2019
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://rearnakedjoke.net/
http://www.facebook.com/LeftHandRightHand

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - 11 hours ago<b>fmlnousername</b> - yesterday at 10:44pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:55am<b>ijustgiveup</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Nasir_Jones</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:58am<b>kayana153</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:30am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:46pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:00am<b>mattweinburgh</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:51pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:17am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:36pm<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:24am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 6:40pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:46pm

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54862) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85222) - you deserved it (13071)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26989) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15331) - you deserved it (49162)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (72215)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (3564)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12320) - you deserved it (56522)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (6210)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63296) - you deserved it (6609)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36515) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (63303)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49171) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80571) - you deserved it (6029)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -



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