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TheNewGuy03

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

68Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11327
  • Number of comments : 2326
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Altairae</b> - 23 hours ago<b>besosforme</b> - yesterday at 4:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - yesterday at 12:52am<b>Big_D_Real</b> - yesterday at 5:51pm<b>Qat</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>KayBTay</b> - yesterday at 5:13pm<b>cprad11</b> - yesterday at 4:21pm<b>liv1222</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>Soninuva</b> - yesterday at 2:28pm<b>mominlaw</b> - yesterday at 2:24pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - yesterday at 1:44pm<b>conman531</b> - yesterday at 11:56am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:50am<b>Csoi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:00am<b>justinam</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:39am<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - yesterday at 4:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:26am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hardik4991</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:56am<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:21am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:41pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:57am<b>mariri9206</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:20pm<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:27am<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:42pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:34am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:24am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (5538)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11521) - you deserved it (66522)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (46590)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16687) - you deserved it (40769)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (7563)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (6348)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35103) - you deserved it (6976)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (13582)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (2472)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (26495)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (6766)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (30265)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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