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TheNewGuy03

Offline (the 02/11/2016 at 9:02pm) | Search for a member

TheNewGuy03

68Fucked!

TheNewGuy03TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11341
  • Number of comments : 2326
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site: http://rearnakedjoke.net/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClaytonJonesImages
Prints/Merch: http://society6.com/claytonjones
IG: @thenewguy03
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Altairae</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:45pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:52am<b>Big_D_Real</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Qat</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:37pm<b>KayBTay</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:13pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:21pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:28pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:44pm<b>conman531</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:56am<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:50am<b>Csoi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:00am<b>justinam</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:39am<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:35am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>Rebecca_917</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:26am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hardik4991</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:56am<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:21am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:41pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:57am<b>mariri9206</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>curlyhairedone</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:20pm<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:27am<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:42pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:34am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:24am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

#21523681
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (1620)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by OhDearGodGrandad (man) - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (4819)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (4819)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (4819)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

#21472776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/26/2015 at 12:10am - kids - by :| (woman) - New Zealand (Nelson)

Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML

#21472769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (3084)

On 09/25/2015 at 11:40pm - misc - by paaaallllmmmssss (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML

#21467934
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (1487)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (8696)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

#21459683
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (5420)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Arrkyna (man) -

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (4420)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51570) - you deserved it (7163)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (7038)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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