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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheNewGuy03

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TheNewGuy03
  • Town/Country : New Orleans, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 6489
  • Number of comments : 1596
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : http://doomcannonrainman.com/

Fuck this shit.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's last visitors

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100 kick ass comments

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TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (6710) - you deserved it (744)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (2763) - you deserved it (6292)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (1275)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (9064)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (1965)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (6171) - you deserved it (29649)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488 (334)

I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (12668)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902 (412)

I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (53856)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (9102) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717 (559)

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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