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TheMathMajor's favorite FMLs
by Mem / 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm / Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML
by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML
by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by keyshame / 10/10/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
by igotsbadluck / 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals