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TheMathMajor's favorite FMLs
by it's awkward / 08/11/2015 at 12:22pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
by fack / 07/29/2015 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML
by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML
by AshWil / 06/26/2015 at 12:54pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML
by annie_xox / 02/20/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Love
by OzzyWannabee / 02/20/2015 at 3:12am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML
by AOart1st / 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Health
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
by pyrogypsy / 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love
by catt / 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm / Germany (Berlin) / Health
by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
by PickYourselfUp / 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…