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TheMathMajor

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TheMathMajor
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 March 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 864
  • Number of comments : 456
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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TheMathMajor's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

#20606348
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38760) - you deserved it (12888)

On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (37412)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (4670)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (5370)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (6018)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (6801)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (14058)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (32551) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (14051)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (1946)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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