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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheLittlestNinja

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TheLittlestNinja
  • Town/Country : St. Cloud, MN, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 25785
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TheLittlestNinja : single

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TheLittlestNinja's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (58196) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (51775) - you deserved it (1815)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (14135) - you deserved it (55676)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (98471)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML

#1097922 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (86639)

On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (54271) - you deserved it (2131)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (9465)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

#987396 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (86442) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (5130)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (58453) - you deserved it (8796)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (94876) - you deserved it (4118)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

#904646 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (169576) - you deserved it (20916)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (93667) - you deserved it (7270)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)