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TheKillerWalrus

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TheKillerWalrus
  • Town/Country : Michigan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheKillerWalrus : I suck at these "About you" things but here goes nothing, my names Chris.
I play video games
I like to draw
I'm odd (in a good way) most the time
I have ADD
I can be random at times xD
Message me if you want to talk

TheKillerWalrus's last visitors

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TheKillerWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (6902)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (6353)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41617) - you deserved it (5848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54887) - you deserved it (4440)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (3801)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61838) - you deserved it (9125)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60101) - you deserved it (13035)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (65584)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58167) - you deserved it (8823)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67164) - you deserved it (7566)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (10460)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50248) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (5013)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (5425)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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