TheKillerWalrus

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Offline (the 08/08/2015 at 8:36pm)

TheKillerWalrus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1611
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheKillerWalrus : I suck at these "About you" things but here goes nothing, my names Chris.

that is all

TheKillerWalrus's page activity

Visits<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:02pm<b>JohnSapp</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:17am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:51pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:53am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:50am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:38pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:28pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:18am<b>bcalrissian</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 2:17am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:04am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:48am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 3:22pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 9:46am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 1:38am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 1:20am<b>fish99</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:02pm<b>i2smart2trick</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 1:49am

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TheKillerWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

by berryjones11024 / 09/14/2014 at 10:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

by NoConfusion / 09/14/2014 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

by mybad / 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm / United States / Work

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

by That idiot / 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work