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TheKillerWalrus

Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 4:54am) | Search for a member

TheKillerWalrus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 476
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheKillerWalrus : I suck at these "About you" things but here goes nothing, my names Chris.
I play video games
I like to draw
I'm odd (in a good way) most the time
I have ADD
I can be random at times xD
Message me if you want to talk

TheKillerWalrus's page activity

Visits<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:51pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:53am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:50am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:38pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:28pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:18am<b>bcalrissian</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 2:17am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:04am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:48am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 3:22pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 9:46am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 1:38am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 1:20am<b>fish99</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:02pm<b>i2smart2trick</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 1:49am<b>haiipeople</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 4:53pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 7:29pm

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TheKillerWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (11203)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (14812)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42160) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (6425)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39897) - you deserved it (16647)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42752) - you deserved it (6110)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49150) - you deserved it (8209)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (8481)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56749) - you deserved it (7980)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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