TheJMeister

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TheJMeister

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10330
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheJMeister : I honestly don't see much point in this rather short autobiography, since you're not going to read it anyways. But if you are currently reading this, hello! I like bands. Not the shitty bands, but bands like Nirvana, Green Day, Sleeping With Sirens, All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon, Blink-182, Mayday Parade etc. AND I LIKE YOUTUBERS. They're pretty cool. LIKE BREAKING BAD. OMFG.

So yeah, message me. Contrary to popular belief, I do like talking to new people.


As long as you're not a complete fucktard. And you're not homophobic. Or racist.

:)

TheJMeister's page activity

Visits<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:24am<b>xSphinx</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:02am<b>Will_I_Are_57</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:07am<b>hare</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:09am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:08am<b>mylifemychoices</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:03pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Cheeser_Cheese</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>jayyvonblood</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:11am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:49am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 3:21am<b>abhi95</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:04am<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:52pm<b>colerean</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:55am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:36am<b>kitten33</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:34am

TheJMeister's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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TheJMeister's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2014 at 1:00am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

by idiotfucks / 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Health

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

by AnonymousAndSad / 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

by exasperated / 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Love