Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheJMeister

Search for a member

TheJMeister

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3245
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheJMeister : I honestly don't see much point in this rather short autobiography, since you're not going to read it anyways. But if you are currently reading this, hello! I like bands. Not the shitty bands, but bands like Nirvana, Green Day, Sleeping With Sirens, All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon, Blink-182, Mayday Parade etc. AND I LIKE YOUTUBERS. They're pretty cool. LIKE BREAKING BAD. OMFG.

So yeah, message me. Contrary to popular belief, I do like talking to new people.


As long as you're not a complete fucktard. And you're not homophobic. Or racist.

:)

TheJMeister's page activity

Visits<b>xSphinx</b> - yesterday at 4:02am<b>Will_I_Are_57</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:07am<b>hare</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:09am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:08am<b>mylifemychoices</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:03pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Cheeser_Cheese</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>jayyvonblood</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:11am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:49am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:59pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 3:21am<b>abhi95</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:04am<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:52pm<b>colerean</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:55am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:36am<b>kitten33</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:34am

TheJMeister's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of TheJMeister's badges

TheJMeister's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (7672)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (5549)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (7023)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (4753)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41570) - you deserved it (6655)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30644) - you deserved it (38510)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (4367)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (53827)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47096) - you deserved it (18152)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49204) - you deserved it (4143)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: