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TheFirstSamurai

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TheFirstSamurai
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2216
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now, but there's a cool picture of a Cowboy Samurai so that should hopefully keep you satisfied.

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TheFirstSamurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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TheFirstSamurai's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

#19339919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12012) - you deserved it (2789)

On 03/24/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Stephen (man) - Sweden

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6092) - you deserved it (21058)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59516)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (2559)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (6680)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8276) - you deserved it (50927)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (7013)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6461) - you deserved it (59369)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19452) - you deserved it (1620)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (27518)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)



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