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TheFirstSamurai

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TheFirstSamurai

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3011
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now, but there's a cool picture of a Cowboy Samurai so that should hopefully keep you satisfied.

TheFirstSamurai's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>CockAsian</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:25pm<b>edward80</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:20pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:06pm<b>harrrrlie</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:53am<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:56pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 4:20pm<b>AshaaFerreira</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 8:33pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>kyz_xox</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 1:32pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 3:42am<b>FinJage</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:13pm

TheFirstSamurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TheFirstSamurai's badges

TheFirstSamurai's favorite FMLs

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (36524)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (2601)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11876) - you deserved it (41282)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (39558)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (2716) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (6942)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (9054)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (2264)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (4410)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (4021)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (4613)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (5040)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (2310)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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