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TheFirstSamurai

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TheFirstSamurai

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2974
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now, but there's a cool picture of a Cowboy Samurai so that should hopefully keep you satisfied.

TheFirstSamurai's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>CockAsian</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:25pm<b>edward80</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:20pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:06pm<b>harrrrlie</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:53am<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:56pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 4:20pm<b>AshaaFerreira</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 8:33pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>kyz_xox</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 1:32pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 3:42am<b>FinJage</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:13pm

TheFirstSamurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TheFirstSamurai's badges

TheFirstSamurai's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (23404)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (5576)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (3200)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8921) - you deserved it (26134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (4249)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (25152)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

#19780392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (2123)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by eww - Austria (Wien)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (2333)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24565) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (18208)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (43017)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

#19744137
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (21932)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:04pm - animals - by DuhSteven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

#19742103
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18335) - you deserved it (3600)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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