TheFirstSamurai

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TheFirstSamurai

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5184
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now, but there's a cool picture of a Cowboy Samurai so that should hopefully keep you satisfied.

TheFirstSamurai's page activity

Visits<b>Daniel_A_Bass</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:04pm<b>Kyle17206</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:18pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:40pm<b>raven83</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Sal_Plissken</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:18am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:57am<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:22pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>CockAsian</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:25pm<b>edward80</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:20pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:06pm<b>harrrrlie</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:53am<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:05pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:40pm

TheFirstSamurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TheFirstSamurai's badges

TheFirstSamurai's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

by Misky / 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

by grrr1234 / 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

by friend / 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

by bad son / 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

by eww / 06/13/2012 at 2:13am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

by DuhSteven / 06/06/2012 at 1:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

by Jonas / 06/06/2012 at 1:00am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous