Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheFirstSamurai

Search for a member

TheFirstSamurai

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2983
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now, but there's a cool picture of a Cowboy Samurai so that should hopefully keep you satisfied.

TheFirstSamurai's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>CockAsian</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:25pm<b>edward80</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:20pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:06pm<b>harrrrlie</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:53am<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:56pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 4:20pm<b>AshaaFerreira</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 8:33pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>kyz_xox</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 1:32pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 3:42am<b>FinJage</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:13pm

TheFirstSamurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TheFirstSamurai's badges

TheFirstSamurai's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7828) - you deserved it (43517)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (9546)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (7671)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14643) - you deserved it (62864)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13525) - you deserved it (24190)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13967) - you deserved it (46326)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10417) - you deserved it (24390)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

#11617254
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (4715)

On 07/02/2010 at 6:25pm - misc - by mylifesucks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44998) - you deserved it (6555)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

#7608108
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (215379)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

#3400206
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59070) - you deserved it (6589)

On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

#500122
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81631) - you deserved it (7481)

On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: