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About TheFirstSamurai : I'm too lazy to fill this in right now.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1732) - you deserved it (170)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4894) - you deserved it (996)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7929) - you deserved it (868)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5364) - you deserved it (1148)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6015) - you deserved it (776)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5989) - you deserved it (676)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3433) - you deserved it (5898)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4711) - you deserved it (1141)
On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (1703)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6105) - you deserved it (7113)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (1095) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7880) - you deserved it (585)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (1066)
On 05/12/2012 at 2:41am - health - by lspicknall - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1802) - you deserved it (10414)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I saw a little boy, clear as day, walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6429) - you deserved it (1838)
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