Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheFakeFamilyGuy

Search for a member

TheFakeFamilyGuy
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1325
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheFakeFamilyGuy's last visitors

WingedLovely27jenamalonemel_tran_cowsaysmoooMornaiTHE_A_TEEN

TheFakeFamilyGuy's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of TheFakeFamilyGuy's badges

TheFakeFamilyGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11654) - you deserved it (14154)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

#19137276
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/22/2012 at 4:37am - love - by Lonely Gay (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24390) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (55752)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (42229)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (5038)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24079) - you deserved it (4186)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52691) - you deserved it (12055)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34602) - you deserved it (11920)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (1888)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: