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TheDutchGuy's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for… Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said,… Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I…