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Offline (the 08/07/2016 at 8:43am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 737
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheDistance567 : Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You saw my Papa Johns uniform and now you're wondering if you should order some amazing pizza haha! Anyway I'm half Caucasian and half Somoan and as a result I'm confused with almost every other ethnicity. I live in Northern Virginia and it sucks haha! Cars, food, and animals are things I love. But yeah...anyway

TheDistance567's page activity

Visits<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:44pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:32pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Parcivel</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:08pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22am<b>bingababe</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:44am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 12:21pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 10:33am<b>bobo_the_bear</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:10pm<b>rob02</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 4:30pm<b>AKGirlinSD</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:41am<b>feldco1</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 4:17am<b>sallee23444</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 4:14pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:45am<b>prettychic2001</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 2:44pm<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 12:33pm<b>badbxtch12</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 5:13pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 5:11pm

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TheDistance567's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

by poorman / 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

by meow / 10/30/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

by MBean / 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm / Anguilla / Animals

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

by drunkenloser / 09/20/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Health

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

by zcollins / 09/10/2013 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous