About TheChelseaSays : I am a Christian! Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. Always keep an OPEN MIND and a compassionate heart... Oh and honesty is the BEST policy! I love being in that mood where everything is hilarious. I also love receiving messages so........message me!
TheChelseaSays's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
TheChelseaSays's favorite FMLs
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous