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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (1687)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (3469)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (5148)
On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (5219)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (1713)
On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States
Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (2300)
On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (14644)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (2680)
On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (1909)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (6088) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (1962)
On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (38021)
On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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