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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (16491)
On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (4854)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (3348)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (2805)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82362) - you deserved it (5326)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82362) - you deserved it (5326)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91557) - you deserved it (3848)
On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73441) - you deserved it (18290)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (43211)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63571) - you deserved it (16849)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52028) - you deserved it (5603)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:31pm - love - by Kfeaaa (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (5898)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52386) - you deserved it (10567)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by stoopidRUnner (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52386) - you deserved it (10567)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by stoopidRUnner (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (7679)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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