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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (35551)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (35551)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38459) - you deserved it (13371)
On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38292) - you deserved it (9540)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37072) - you deserved it (5679)
On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (11392)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (7310)
On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (383146)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14235) - you deserved it (50722)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (74376) - you deserved it (10616)
On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66564) - you deserved it (6329)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (52275)
On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (38053)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)
Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (3747)
On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)
Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10620) - you deserved it (38178)
On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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