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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88219) - you deserved it (4715)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307401) - you deserved it (40956)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47102) - you deserved it (13451)
On 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you deserved it (19144)
On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69866) - you deserved it (8851)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64830) - you deserved it (10561)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66340) - you deserved it (3088)
On 03/18/2009 at 12:07am - work - by germx (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (69085)
On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60894) - you deserved it (5417)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54450) - you deserved it (17832)
On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (23035)
On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146417) - you deserved it (5758)
On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (203327)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143476) - you deserved it (25694)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (119757)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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