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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44550) - you deserved it (2961)
On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48543) - you deserved it (9970)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (6319)
On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (2104)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (27200)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (37690)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49229) - you deserved it (9467)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47332) - you deserved it (2971)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68791) - you deserved it (3076)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (2950)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15801) - you deserved it (35325)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (7228)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (2803)
On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (94443)
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (2815)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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