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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7767
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheBrochure : Thank you for reading the Cool Story, Brochure! Packed with the most undeniably relevant and solicited anecdotes from which the entire family will surely benefit by listening! If you would like to hear (read) the coolest story of the day, simply message me with your desire to do so. Or, if you wish to submit your own cool story, they will be added to the Vault of Cool Stories! Fun Facts: 1. Any party is the perfect forum with which to discuss your story in exhausting detail. 2. You should Definitely consider telling that cool story again some time. 3. I own a horse.

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TheBrochure's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

by bakingwomannnnnnnn / 11/20/2013 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

by CallmeEddie / 11/14/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

by LockedOut / 11/02/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Love