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Today, my dads cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time, in my entire adult life, that he has visited me at my home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2028)
On 10/19/2010 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (8776)
On 10/10/2010 at 12:29am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (4656)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (6381)
On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6179) - you deserved it (40923)
On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/03/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3471)
On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3743) - you deserved it (47901)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18327) - you deserved it (4298)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (2937)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (23253)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (3058)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (2339)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (21652)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (54647)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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