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Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (3504)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (33089)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17767) - you deserved it (2709)
On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34626) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12319) - you deserved it (46738)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (3852)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38042) - you deserved it (4373)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (31108)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5940) - you deserved it (44666)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7290) - you deserved it (20896)
On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (7867)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (34596)
On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (16252)
On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (2674)
On 11/06/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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