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Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (7004)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (9185)
On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (5968)
On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32613) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (36517)
On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7520) - you deserved it (23456)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:19am - misc - by American idol -
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62537) - you deserved it (4542)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41203) - you deserved it (21055)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (41018)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (43723)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (7594)
On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (5110)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (14898)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Monday 20 May 2013
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