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TheAnonymousOne

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TheAnonymousOne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2686
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheAnonymousOne's favorite FMLs

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26350) - you deserved it (96845)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

#4338265
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49001) - you deserved it (4039)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by tryingnottocare (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84004) - you deserved it (3907)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58026) - you deserved it (4174)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (2945)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (18905)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48253) - you deserved it (6958)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14380) - you deserved it (48904)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45180) - you deserved it (7121)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59276) - you deserved it (8779)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

#4267489
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:36pm - love - by Brandon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

#4267489
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:36pm - love - by Brandon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51928) - you deserved it (2735)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68160) - you deserved it (3970)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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