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TheAnonymousOne

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TheAnonymousOne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2675
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheAnonymousOne's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (2640)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

#14304589
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (39799)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (6111)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

#14274889
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (27172)

On 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (21928)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (3432)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you deserved it (4635)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

#6153235
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (7402)

On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

#6083113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by Okay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (2245)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

#6002537
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14372) - you deserved it (37123)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87713) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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