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Tgo19053

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Tgo19053
  • Town/Country : Trevose, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 594
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Tgo19053's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (22975)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (22975)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (5134)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39295) - you deserved it (6353)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (66822)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (36498)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (3448) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (2378)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

#14109722
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (6474)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (6137)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version



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