Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tgo19053

Search for a member

Tgo19053
  • Town/Country : Trevose, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 977
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Tgo19053's last visitors

deathpostsDasusscrankawankLilMsDulceKitty19allie2590MzZombicidaltompou6PhotoSmithjadeluv

Tgo19053's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Tgo19053's badges

Tgo19053's favorite FMLs

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (9468)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (3353)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46808) - you deserved it (14935)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (4596)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (2301)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (2669)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (10207)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24079) - you deserved it (4186)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11801) - you deserved it (55285)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: