Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tgo19053

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Tgo19053

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1209
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Tgo19053's page activity

Visits<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Rei_Ayanami</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:29pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 8:26am<b>Dasuss</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 8:51pm<b>crankawank</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:04am<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Tari</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:00pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:59pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:02am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 4:48am<b>tompou6</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:01pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:17am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:16am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 2:07am<b>BeautyInDiscord</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 1:33pm<b>jabfinch</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 2:20pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:44pm<b>straww</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:30pm

Tgo19053's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Tgo19053's badges

Tgo19053's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (3431)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (19101)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16849) - you deserved it (47832)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (4106)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (10555)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51714) - you deserved it (16521)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (5174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2062)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (3097)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2432)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: