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This isn't what should be happening
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Tgo19053's favorite FMLs
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
by beautifulme / 01/31/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Kids
by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by poopcoloredeyes / 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
by spacemanspiff78 / 10/31/2011 at 11:07am / Miscellaneous
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
by DMStarsky / 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…