This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (2907)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (2894)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (14407)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (42732)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (3085)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)
Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33133) - you deserved it (7641)
On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (3758)
On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States
Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (2588)
On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43146) - you deserved it (11803)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (4554)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (1742)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (2271)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (1968)
On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
