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Tgo19053's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML
by AccidentalFlasher / 01/07/2016 at 9:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
by philosophicallll / 09/28/2015 at 4:25pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
by MuteNToot / 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML
by Punphmelch / 03/26/2014 at 4:45am / Australia (South Australia) / Animals
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…