Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tequilamockngbrd

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 7:26am) | Search for a member

Tequilamockngbrd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4923
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tequilamockngbrd : Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Have a great day. :D

Tequilamockngbrd's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - yesterday at 4:55pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:09am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:12am<b>why_God_why96</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:02am<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Blade52560</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:22pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:34pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:27pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:41am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:28pm<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:43am<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:37pm<b>maryiah</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:19am<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:31pm<b>julako</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:29pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:40pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:04pm

Tequilamockngbrd's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Tequilamockngbrd's badges

Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

#5740729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (8521)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10641) - you deserved it (37400)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (9788)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41821) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (46372)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (10976)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (34766)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9517) - you deserved it (32174)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56616) - you deserved it (3303)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47583) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (3118)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11466) - you deserved it (37674)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (10389)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: