About Tequilamockngbrd
Blah. Blah. Blah. Have a great day. :D
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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 30 June 2012 09:45 /

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 30 May 2012 05:46 / United States - San Diego

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

By CantPublish / Thursday 12 April 2012 17:54 / United States - Modesto

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

By HOe HOe HOe - / Wednesday 2 November 2011 02:36 / United States