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Tequilamockngbrd

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Tequilamockngbrd
  • Town/Country : Cincinnati, OH
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 4491
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tequilamockngbrd : Blah.

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Have a great day. :D

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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

#5926949
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

#5877421
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40070) - you deserved it (2305)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (1550)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (1876)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84209) - you deserved it (13910)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (100282)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

#5789992
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (48760)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (2142)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (2658)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5834) - you deserved it (97896)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)



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