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Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (4946)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (8083)
On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (3003)
On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (3587)
On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (1731)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (193)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (2522)
On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3409)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (1390)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (1934)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter couldn't sleep because her pillow "felt like a rock". I asked if she wanted to use mine and she said no. She then rested her head on my stomach and promptly fell asleep. When she woke up, she told me my fat made the best pillow ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (5415)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:26pm - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19127) - you deserved it (3132)
On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75032) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (89681)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9340) - you deserved it (38862)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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