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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs
by clueless / 10/29/2009 at 12:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML
by ohsnap / 10/28/2009 at 6:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 1:42am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
by munchkin / 10/26/2009 at 2:35am / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 10/26/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Jo / 10/25/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 10:58am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
by E.S. / 10/23/2009 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by freshman15 / 10/22/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Lovelysister / 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
by TheSublime / 10/21/2009 at 9:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML
by hairdresser / 10/18/2009 at 11:27am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper,… Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions.… Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes…