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Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 7:49am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7964
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tequilamockngbrd : Blah.



Have a great day. :D

Tequilamockngbrd's page activity

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Fucked!<b>blackneko</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:10pm<b>theBandit68</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 2:06pm

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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

by Falafax / 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

by helluvasinger / 11/12/2009 at 6:00am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

by Abby / 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

by Dobby123 / 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

by Poopyhead / 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm / Ireland (Cork) / Health

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

by Cellismasher / 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

by scaryhairy / 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

by Lexi / 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a 24-hour taco shop, while he was wearing a tee-shirt that says "F*** Me I'm Famous." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

by Anon / 10/31/2009 at 7:08am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

by pathetic / 10/31/2009 at 6:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous